Let me first start by saying, I'm sorry it has been awhile since I
posted here. However, life has been very busy with my two wonderful
rainbows. I recently felt the need to join a small group at my church,
and the only one that seems to work with my schedule is a women only
one. They meet on Sunday night at 6:00PM, we pray, encourage, listen to
one another, read The Bible, and follow a Bible study done by Beth
Moore. The Bible Study we are doing is, A Woman's Heart : God's Dwelling Place,
if you haven't looked into this I would strongly recommend this to any
Christian Church looking for women's Bible Study material. We are on
week 2 day 2, today's Bible Lesson was on about when God turns the
bitter waters of Marah (which translated mean bitter) into sweet water.
One of the heart questions, was how has God changed something bitter
into your life into something bittersweet. This question for me was so
easy to answer, God allowed me to have my miscarriages so that I can
truly treasure the two wonderful earthly children I have here. But then
the lesson went on to speak about forgiveness and God satisfying our
thirst. Today, I'm going to focus on what I believe God wants me to
share with all of you allowing the bitterness about losing a child to
become something more and turn into something that is truly sweet or
bittersweet.
If you had told me when I was going through my
sadness or bitterness, some day I would look back and see it for
something positive. I would of probably told you to walk in my shoes
before you judge me. I probably would of gotten very angry and been
defensive over where I was in my child loss journey. I would of told
you, you don't understand what it is like to want something so bad you
dream of it at night and each time have it just taken away from you. I
would of probably done and said so much, most of which would of been
hurtful and judgmental. If we would then fast forward to where I am today on my child loss journey, I would agree with that person.
Why is this, you may ask yourself. It is now because I have two beautiful, loving, caring, and sweet little girls to wrap my aching arms around. I celebrate their milestones and accomplishments with a bittersweet reminder of their siblings. I do find myself thinking of their siblings, on their birthdays, on holidays, and on the dates that I lost each one of them. I firmly believe after today's Bible lesson, that God has given me the bitterness in life, so that I can truly appreciate all the sweetness that has come after that bitterness. It is my prayer that you may find and appreciate the sweetness that life has to offer after the bitterness of your child loss.
Sharing my child loss journey with you, may you find the sweetness in life today! God's Blessings be upon you and your house.
