Allowing Time To Grieve

      In my opinion, there is a definite cycle to life all beginning at conception and ultimately ending with our death.  Somewhere in this straight line, we as humans give the gift of life to other humans through birth, which is what keeps the cycle of life going.  I also find that in life, we experience pain.  If we allow ourselves the chance to grieve healthy, then we will thrive.  If we find ourselves stuck in our grief, then we should seek out professional assistance.

     Shortly, after the birth of my second miracle baby, I found myself immensely burdened with the pain of not being able to have anymore children and the loss of my 5 sweet precious children.  I felt overwhelmingly sad, weary, and down trodden.  So I sought out for myself, in hopes of being a better mom, the professional help of a grief counselor.  I choose one that was not covered under my insurance because for me it was extremely important that this grief counselor specialize in child loss, miscarriage, and/or infant loss.

    So, every Wednesday at 12:00 PM until 1:00 PM, I would meet with my grief counselor until about a year ago.  Not because I didn't feel the need to seek the grief counselor's assistance anymore.  But rather because I could no longer afford the sessions.  I also found that in time, this individual gave me the tools I needed to grieve properly and to allow myself to move on towards a better future.

   I come from a background of such profound loss early on in my life.  I never got the proper counseling as a child because my adopted family did not see the need for professional counseling or assistance.  I did seek out a counselor when I was 23 or 24 years old on my own insurance.  This proved to be exceptionally effective in aiding me with the pattern for most of my romantic attachments at that time.  I found myself constantly involved in abusive relationships.  One of these relationships resulted in the miscarriage of one of my 5 angels. 

   Lately, as I prepare for the next chapter in my life which involves a move and no longer being a stay at home mom.  I find that I am extremely greatful for the time I have had to seek the assistance that I needed.  I find that I am extremely blessed to have had two very wonderful counselors.  Both of which never offered me any advice, but helped me to move on past my pain and to grieve in my own terms along with it being on my own time.

   I am also so very, very, very greatful for the opportunity to blog about it regardless of how many people read this blog or not.  This is just about one woman's journey in child loss..and I thank you all for being there to experience it with me.